Contentment Lesson #3

Chapter 3 of "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow is called "Content to be Me". And she starts out by talking about Psalm 139...which is one of my favorite Psalms.

Her first section is "God Created Your Personality". Before I even read this section I had to take a deep breath, because I usually need this reminder. I struggled with not liking who I was, and finally at a youth convention really surrendered it to Him my senior year in high school and told Him that I was not going to call what He made garbage. Who was I to tell Him that He messed up when He made me?!? Anyway, this was a huge step for me, and even though I definitely have moments where I struggle with my personality and who I am, I am reminded of my commitment over 10 years ago. That is probably why I really like Psalm 139 - because it reminds me of this.

Verse 1 says "O Lord, you have searched me and you know me." Verse 3 says that he is "familiar with all my ways". Verse 4 implies that He knows our every thoughts because He knows what we are going to say before we even say it. Verse 13 says "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Linda Dillow says that "in Hebrew, "inmost being"signifies the seat of the desires and longings, the personality." She points out that when God was creating us, He wasn't just forming our bodies, but creating our emotional being or personality as well. And in verse 14, David, the author of Psalm 139 praised God for making him "fearfully and wonderfully made."

And Linda challenges us to also thank God for making our personality. Do I like that I am not an emotional person, not really...but I need to thank Him for that and not get discouraged when others see me as cold and heartless. I need to trust that He knew what He was doing! It is easy to get stuck in the comparison game...to say, wow, "Susie over there is so friendly and outgoing...I wish I could be more like her." I love the author's next paragraph:

Because "Carol" constantly compares her personality to those of the "Sallys" of this world, she has missed her own individual beauty. She has no idea why God created her; she hasn't even stopped to ask Him. She's too busy focusing on what she doesn't have instead of what God has given her.

The next section is titled "God Created Your Body". Linda shows how verse 15 in Psalm 139 says "My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth." The NASB version says "wrought" instead of "woven" and Linda writes that in Hebrew, "wrought" means "embroidered", usually referring to "the skillful and artistic needlework in the curtains in the Old Testament tabernacle."

Again, it is easy to get into the comparison game - and come up short. Whether you wish you were taller, skinnier, brown hair, straight hair, more athletic, whatever it is - it makes you discontent. To be honest, the thing I struggled with the most and teased about the most was being about as flat chested as you could get. And I still can be very self conscious about it, but I had to finally stop (and still work on stopping) the comparisons and say, you know, God made me and didn't mess up...and if He wanted all women to look the same, He would have made us that way. As Linda Dillow points out, the media really creates a lot of struggle in women and puts pressure on us to have this "perfect" body. Linda actually argues that women probably look at other women more than men do! Constantly "analyzing, scrutinizing, and [comparing]." She puts in a couple quotes that I really like. One is by James Hufstetler:

"You will never really enjoy other people, you will never have stable emotions, you will never lead a life of godly contentment, you will never conquer jealousy and love others as you should until you thank God for making you the way He did."

Wow, that was convicting.

The next section is titled "The Creation of Your Life Purpose" and she points us to Psalm 139:16 for this part. It says "your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." God has a purpose and a plan for our lives. I like one of Linda's sentences: "All of your abilities - and disabilities - were created to fit the unique plan God has for you." She quotes Jerry Bridges, who basically says that who and what we are is not some biological or circumstantial accident. It pleases God when we are content with our bodies, personalities, and the gifts and talents He has given us. Linda urges us to stop listening to the voices that tell us to "Be successful. Be popular. Be beautiful. Be perfect."

The next section is called "Your Emerging Picture" where Linda likes to think of "the frame" of our existence as being our personality, physical characteristics, and our gifts and abilities. All of these things make up who we are. They are all things that GOD created and we shouldn't try to change what those are. We should embrace our frame instead of wishing for a new one.

Next she talks about the "artwork" within the frame - the "emerging picture of who you are." What is reflected in this picture? Am I allowing Christ to form it into His character? Or am I trying to paint my own accomplishments or "frantic activity"? And so many times we try to focus on the frame and trying to change the frame that we miss out on a beautiful piece of art trying to be painted within the frame. The picture becomes ugly, and messy.

Don't worry...we are almost done...but there was just so much good in this chapter that I wanted to share it...so hold on!!

The next section is "A Women of Character" where the author talks about Proverbs 31:10-31 where it talks about being a women of character - it's not about the achievements but about her heart. As Linda points out, we don't know her name or what she looks like, or anything about her personality - because what God cares about is our character. She also points out that the women knew that God was in control, but "also knew that God expected her to make godly choices to rule over herself...She allowed Him to place His brushstrokes on the canvas of her life. But she also chose to rule her appearance, her mouth, and her activities."

This section was really good for me, too. Sometimes it is easy to forget what is important to God...and yet at the same time it is easy to use excuses to not do OUR part and take care of our bodies, control what comes out of our mouth, or what we do to fill our days.

The last section is called "Fulfilling God's Commands" and Linda talks about Genesis 1:28: "God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." Linda lists three basic commands that she sees in this passage:

• RULE: When we rule, we make decisions regarding a matter's course and destiny
• SUBDUE: When we subdue, we bring something under control by conquest and maintain control by diligent maintenance.
• PRODUCE: When we produce, we create value by multiplying

Linda argues that the most important person we must rule is ourselves. We have to rule our bodies, character, and talents. As I thought about and wrote just a few paragraphs ago, Linda points out in this section that it is easy to "rationalize our need to obey God when it comes to controlling these areas!" Her examples were a women who was complaining about her weight gain instead of taking control of her appetite and exercising - complaining instead of taking responsibility. Another example was a women who was sarcastic and when friends tried to confront her she used the excuse that she was born that way instead of making a choice to take control and build her character. Her last example (trying to hit all three areas she was talking about) was a lady who claimed she had no gifts or talents - who sat and moped instead of actually getting out and serving.

As Linda wraps things up, she says "I am convinced that a women who struggles with her identity and purpose is a women who has abdicated control of who she is becoming." She shares that this work of art is a lifelong process, and God can't help create that work of art unless we let Him. We have to give Him back the paintbrush. We will never be content unless we do.

I have to be content to be me.