What is your opinion on opinions?
Strange to think about, I know, but I have been thinking about the topic of "opinions" for several days now. Opinions about clothes, house, parenting, church, work, politics, marriage, and on and on and on. The amount of opinions are huge and vast, and add to that how every other person has an opinion about just one topic, and that can get pretty overwhelming. And if someone has an opinion about YOUR life, well, that can get a little more complicated. Some opinions you take to heart and may need to even change an action in your life. Other opinions leave you frustrated, hurt, and disappointed because it hits a nerve, or maybe it is nothing you can do anything about. Sometimes you feel stretched - I can't be all things to all people. I can't even try - because if I do, I become a people-pleaser, which is not healthy at all.
And it seems to me that it is pretty hard at times to filter opinions. Maybe that's because I am an analyzer, so even if it is a bad opinion, I still internalize it, analyze it, and then decide what to do with it.
Opinions about church are very hard, and really only those in a pastoral family, whether in the past or currently in a pastorate, can really relate. And the one most affected is the pastor himself and the weight he (or she) carries. Even I can't relate, although I am about as close to the situation I can get. Stephen carries such a weight that sometimes when he shares his frustration and pain it is a lot for me, let alone him. And it is hard to not be crushed under that weight. At first, my response when someone left the church or complained about something, it was "Stephen, you can't take everything so personal." But he just looked at me and said, "Michelle, there is no other way to take it." And he is right. In his role, almost everything is personal.
People have left simply because the previous pastor left, and he wasn't Dave. Some have complained because he is not "charismatic" enough. Some have left because they just didn't like him, and others because he didn't visit them enough. People tell him all the time that he is "so young" or try to give him a compliment and say something like "how are you so wise for such a young person?" constantly throwing little jabs and not even knowing it. One person came and talked to him and told him that he didn't do enough alter calls. Others complain about the music. One family walked out of the church in the middle of the sermon because Stephen was preaching about ridding our lives of sin, and the mother disagreed and said that God was love and the church should find a new pastor (REALLY?!?). People have opinions about the way he dresses, the way he organizes things, and on and on. Just this week we have lost three families. It is disheartening, deflating, and hard to keep pressing forward. How do you filter all these arrows coming at you and people looking at you for leadership? So many opinions. And I just want to say, "Can't you just let him preach the Word?!?" And don't even get me started about coming to the church for the wrong reasons...I could go on and on about how it is ridiculous that some people come for the pastor.
But you know, these are not new things or new opinions. That is probably what every pastor deals with at just about every church, which is sad if you really think about it. The same pastor could get complaints about the same thing but different opinions - one person could complain that he preaches too long, and another person in the same church thinks he doesn't preach long enough. One person may say there are not enough events, another might be overwhelmed by them. One likes the music, the other hates it.
And even though Stephen, as the pastor, takes the brunt of opinions, some of which have caused people to leave, we KNOW that God brought us here for a purpose. We like it here a lot. We like the people, the church, the area. And overall the church is doing very well and going great - it is funny how a few negatives seem to negate the positives if we focus on the wrong things :) And we KNOW that Satan likes to attack when you are speaking TRUTH, when lives are being changed and challenged. The whole church came around us in first service and prayed for us, encouraging Stephen to keep going, to not lose heart and not lose sight of CHRIST. So many times we take our eyes off of God and we stumble all over ourselves. God is pruning right now, and pruning hurts. But we know that in the end there is more fruit because of it. And so Stephen presses on. Pushes forward and keeps looking up. Because God is faithful. And as we talked about all of this after church, I think that this is normal for a transition of a new pastor of just about every church, especially if the previous pastor had been there a while...we just didn't see that at Main Street that much because Stephen went from being a youth pastor to the senior pastor, so people already knew him.
I am so proud of my husband. He is so organized and really does a great job planning. He is so easy to talk to and seems to get along with everyone. He is a man of integrity and values, and he loves me so much it is humbling. He is such a gifted speaker, and preaches straight to your heart...challenging you to press on toward holiness and not letting sin have any hold in your life; to completely surrender and let God have every part of you.
So I can see why Satan attacks.
Bring it on, Satan...we will not back down.
5 years ago
3 comments:
I am sorry you guys are going through this right now. We'll pray for you all.
I can somewhat understand right now because Nathaniel's parents are going through a similar thing (although much more extreme). After being at a church for only a few months, they have both decided that it was best for everyone involved for them to resign. It was a really hard decision, but the church there is so sick. It is really sad. And there really isn't much that Nathaniel's dad can do at this point. The people want what they want, and, unfortunately, the ones with "power" don't want Wes. He has such a huge heart for people and ministry. It is so sad to see him crushed by the way others have treated him. Thank goodness of the grace of God and for the encouragement of faithful Christians.
I hope that things will improve for Stephen.
What you have written about opinions is powerful, Michelle. Satan uses opinions to his advantage too many times! Once a word is spoken, it's difficult not to be affected by it. Maybe we need a sermon series on James?
We are living in end times--I'm convinced of that. And yes, the enemy is on the prowl. But we must resist!! Like you said, Satan only bothers us where we are making a difference. We need our weapons--the Word, prayer, the Holy Spirit, and other truly Spirit-filled Christians. My daughter and her husband have gone through the pruning, and my son, who is about to take a crew down to the mission field soon, is likely going to experience opposition and my stomach is churning about what he may face. However, with each painful situation, a victory follows if we SURRENDER it to the Lord. Stephen said it Sunday--surrender. Agree with God that it's way too big for us and give it to Him. If God is for us, who can be against us? Let's put on the armor together and stand!!
Cheryl
I, too, am so sorry that you guys have to endure these hardships!! It's sad to say but I do think most pastors deal with things on a day to day basis!! I just wish more people would give our leaders Grace!! We call can use it, even our Pastors!! I think so many people just want to nit pic at stuff to find reasons to be upset and leave! It's so sad!! I have made it my mission to have compassion for those in leadership and give them Grace at all times even when I may disagree with something! Opinions are just opinions and one way is not always the right way!!
Like Michelle said, I will pray for you guys because it is so hard to keep forging ahead in these circumstances but remember not to become bitter! Just keep giving it to God because He understands your pain the most!!
There is a book called "The Bait of Satan" and I've heard it is really good. We have a small group doing it at church! I've heard it's a book that everyone could learn something from!!
We love you guys!!
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