Reflections for 2012

Ironically, last year for 2011 I posted that I was glad for a consistent, "easy" year with no real changes...well 2012 turned out to be drastically different.  I know that God was giving us a calm in the midst of this storm called Life.

Here are some highlights...some good, some bad:

Early in the year I started having severe neck/skull pain.  I had no idea what caused it or why it started, but it was causing migraines and I was just getting increasingly uncomfortable.  I absolutely hate being cracked or massaged, but I wasn't sure where else to go except a chiropractor.  I called it my "ten minutes of torture".  It helped relieve the intense pain, but even almost a year later, I still am not 100%.  We switched our mattress out, plus our pillows, thinking that might have caused it, but again, it is still there - thankfully not nearly as bad!!

In April our mortgage adjustment for the year came in at $400 more PER MONTH!  We tracked down the problem (the township didn't give us the homestead tax exemption), but even when they adjusted based on the mistake, it was too late for our escrow account because of the deficit, so we are still stuck paying $200 more a month until this coming April.  This was a huge blow since we were already tight waiting for the church parsonage to sell so we could get a housing allowance.

At the end of May I starting having hives...and that increased so bad to the point that I ended up in the ER when my eyes, lips and throat were swelling.  Not good!  I was insistent that I was not allergic to anything, but doctors would not listen to me and insisted that I was.  FINALLY a doctor in Lansing listened and told me I was correct - the hives were not from an allergy, but because of my Graves Disease.  A small cold triggered my immune system to start attacking my body instead of the virus.  The doctor put me on medication that finally controlled the hives, and slowly started taking me off the steroids that the ER gave me.  It took until September (WOW!) but I finally could enjoy not having hives.  I still found myself very sensitive to heat for a while - probably a natural reaction after 3 months of hives getting worse if I got hot. :)

Also in May, just a few days after my hives started, we got a phone call that my grandpa had suffered two strokes and was not doing well.  This came as a huge blow to me because my grandpa, even though in his mid-nineties, was the picture of health.  The only time he went to the doctor was for cataracts, and a small scare when several years back we though he may have had a small heart attack.  But he was active - and in fact was camping that weekend when it happened! 

June was a pretty terrible month.  It started out with making a trip to see my grandpa in rehab and seeing how poor he was responding.  This was again a hard reality, yet was good closure for me.  Then Stephen and I went on a short two night get-away with two other couples and their kids up in Boyne Falls, MI.  The only full day we were there was spent in the ER with Damaris breaking her arm in two places.  Then the next week our friends who were up in Boyne Falls lost their baby, Matthew, when Amanda was already 16 weeks along.  Then two days later we got a call that my grandpa passed away.  That next week was super hard, and everything just really hit me that night after his funeral, and I just could not stop crying.  I feel like I have lost both my grandparents now, since my grandma's Alzheimer's is so bad.  I feel like my grandpa was the glue, the constant, the "normal."

Also in June, my boss resigned. Although his last day was the first part of July, it still was super hard because he has been a great boss and great to work with, and it was just a lot on top of everything else.

In July we had an excepted offer on the parsonage!!  We were so excited to have a true buyer, with the possibility of a sale, which would mean us getting a housing allowance.  The house was sold the next month, and it could not have come at a better time!!!  We are SO thankful...words don't even express how thankful we are after two years of waiting!

In August, we bought a house two doors down from the county tax auction.  They apparently "give away" houses at these things!!  It was crazy how cheap we got the house!  We bought it and spent six weeks fixing it up, working every spare moment we had, to make it ready for our friends Chris and Rebecca to move in!!  Which means September was VERY busy trying to finish the house for our friends moving in at the end of the month...we barely made it, and Stephen actually still has to finish some of the crown molding, but they are in it!  And we have awesome neighbors that we can hang out with and do things with and ride together to places.  We are loving it!

Also in August, Stephen and I experienced an unexpected death by a current member of our congregation, a first in our 10 years of ministry.  Ken was one of those people that everyone knew, was there every Sunday, willing to help, and always gave you a hug and made you feel welcome.  This came as quite a shock as he was only 65 and in seemingly great health.  Stephen had just talked to him that morning.  It was really hard, and we actually thought we would have to reschedule our vacation that we had planned, but everything ended up working out and we had a great memorial service after we got back.  Linda is a trooper and is doing so well with everything.  There is definitely a huge hole in our church, though!

Throughout the spring and summer we had several new families start coming to the church!  It was been so fun getting to know them and having them join us!  It also has been exciting to see the church really turn a corner - financially, spiritually, physically, etc.  We may even have to go back to two services!  It has been fun being in ministry at Crystal Lake Community Church this past year!

September brought the time for me to sell my Jetta and get a different vehicle.  After months of searching, we finally found a good deal on a Pacifica, which was our vehicle of choice.  I was adamant that I wanted good mileage, Stephen was adamant that we have more seating...so we settled on the Pacifica - thinking it would get better mileage than it does.  I think something is wrong with it, because it barely gets 20 mpg.  But, it literally seats 6 - not "maybe 6 if we cram", and it is soooo nice to have space again.  I really do not like the car, but Stephen loves it, and we already bought it, so we are just going to have to make do :)

The very first week of October, I was hit by a deer on the way to work...something inevitable in this area and because of the roads I have to drive, but still was dreading. Thankfully I was fine, the deer was small, I hit it head on, and the airbag didn't deploy. Unfortunately our car was not fine...and was the car we were trying to sell. The hood was completely ruined as well as the lower panel and the side panel, possibly the radiator, and the deer took out the driver side headlight.  Over $4,000 worth of damage but not enough to total the car.

In November we got a cat!  Wall-e has been a great addition to our house.  He is super sweet, loyal (shocking for a cat) and snuggly (another surprise).  And November and December were relatively calm months, thankfully.

So yes...2012 had a LOT going on, some things that were really hard...but there have also been some absolutely amazing God-moments in some of these situations.  I could double again what I have already written here!  My favorite ones are times when things looked the worst and God completely changed the situation.

For example, when Damaris was in the hospital with a broken arm, we got a phone call from Stephen's mom saying that a girl Stephen went to high school with had a relative in the Petoskey Hospital and they specifically were praying that God would send someone to the hospital to pray with their child who was very, very sick.  So Stephen was able to go pray with the family as I sat there in awe of how God could take Damaris's broken arm, in a place we would never have been otherwise, and use that to help another family with an answer to prayer.

Also, when my grandpa was in rehab, barely able to communicate and the rest of us not sure if there was any part of him left, and my grandma with her Alzheimer's never lucid anymore, my aunt and uncle brought my grandma to see him, and my grandpa was trying so hard to grab a hold of her and talk to her.  He knew who she was.  And my grandma, as she looked at him, had a definite moment of recognition and was back again for a brief moment.  What an amazing gift to have that connection!!!  It was very shortly after that my grandpa passed away - I think because he got to see her one last time and know she was OK.  I cry almost every time I think of this special few seconds they shared.

Another moment was the situation of the deer hitting my car.  I was literally thinking at the exact moment of the accident about dropping the sale price on the Jetta because we desperately needed the money.  When I was sitting there waiting for the police, I was angry.  God, why would you do this right now?!?  Then we found out we had a $1000 deductible on our comprehensive coverage, and I was even more angry.  But then God began to really speak to my heart.  That deer hit me going down the road at probably 55 or 60 mph.  I was OK and was not even sore!  Because of that accident, we found out about our comp coverage and immediately lowered the other vehicles down to almost nothing, which is what it should have been from the beginning.  And then to add the icing to the cake, God shows us that He is still not done.  A guy walks into my office at work and asks what happened to my Jetta.  I explain that it was hit by a deer, and he proceeds to tell me that he has been looking for a Jetta diesel that has been damaged so that he could fix it up.  WHAT?!?  OK, God...I get it.  With the holidays and everything the guy hasn't bought the car yet, and if he does, we will end up getting more out of the car than we thought we could selling it between the insurance check and the discounted amount the guy is willing to pay.  But even if he doesn't, what an amazing lesson God has taught me.

And I could go on and on about each and every situation I listed above...because God is just amazing like that.  I think that was my lesson for 2012.  That no matter what is thrown my way (and there were a lot of other things that were hard that I couldn't share on my blog), God is bigger than any of it.  And to be honest, none of these situations seem that big now that we are through them.  Soooo many other have been through so much worse and are still going through hard times.  But in my life this year, God showed me that He can take any situation and make something great of my life and those situations.

So in 2013 I really want peace...but not for peace from crazy circumstances and hard times...peace in the MIDST of them.  That instead of getting upset and angry and frustrated with God, that I will TRUST Him instead of my own plans and ideas.