Lesson Learned

I feel like lately God has been teaching me so much...and I just wanted to share my heart today in one area.

I think the biggest lesson in the last few months is learning that sometimes all I need to do is ASK. I am very independent and tend to just take care of things and stress over things that need to be done instead of praying about it. There had been two very heavy things on my heart for the last YEAR: our finances and my family time (or lack there of).

Well, it FINALLY dawned on me that maybe I should PRAY about it :) :)

I started praying about our financial situation and within weeks God opened doors and showed us ways that we could reduce payments and even pay off loans! It was a huge blessing, and even though I didn't like some of the options (buying a van and selling our Vibe) and some of the options didn't make sense to me (buying a motorcycle), it is amazing to see how hindsight of the fact, these have both been the best financial decisions we could have made. Not only do we like lower payments, but we LOVE the van. And with diesel at almost $4.30 a gallon - and climbing - I already am seeing a HUGE drop in our spending on fuel now that Stephen is rarely driving our truck.

As for the issue with my job, to be honest, I really didn't think it was worth praying about...I know...very little faith. I felt trapped because we had to have insurance and if I went to a part time job, what would we do?!? Plus I liked my job, and couldn't imagine starting somewhere else. But I was so torn...because I have felt for the last year that I have been missing out on my kids' lives and soon they would be in school and there would be no way to rewind and get time with them again. Stephen and I struggle to find time together with his evening and weekend commitments with the church - especially this time of year when there are more meetings than ever. I longed to be at home more, and didn't pray because I didn't think there was anything I could do about it...and that was just what God was showing me...I was trying to solve problems on my own!!

I am excited to say that as of today, I accepted a new position at Indiana Wesleyan University (which officially starts July 1)...I will be working 32 hours a week (still considered full time!!!) with the option to work some from home. I can pick the days and times I work and flex my hours to work around schedules. I will be in the same office suite working with the same co-workers, and the best part...I am still going to be doing most of what I work on now!! I will be doing all the contracts for adjuncts and full time faculty, faculty loading and overload pay, adjunct payroll, a whole lot of work with the budget for the entire College of Arts and Sciences - plus other tasks that I haven't done before. Basically all work with numbers and data analysis...which I really enjoy. I will get an extra vacation day by moving to this position, and a bump in pay...so with working less hours I will still be making almost as much as I am now at 40 hours a week!! WHAT AN OVERWHELMING BLESSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It seems that in the midst of these two amazing answers to prayer (and others that I haven't mentioned) God hasn't just said to me "ask and you can get whatever you want" but rather, "Michelle, you need to have more faith." I fully understand that when I pray, there will be lots of times that He tells me I need to wait...or even times He says "no"...I can think of a very hard time in my life, and that has been (and continues to be) His answer. And in this situation my prayer has changed...now I am asking for Him to help me ACCEPT the things He has says "no" to. But I am thankful that no matter what the issue in my life, I need to bring it to Him, let it go instead of trying to do it or fix it on my own, and accept with grace and humility His answer...even if the answer is "no".