Forgiveness

“Forgiving and being forgiven are two names for the same thing. The important thing is that a discord has been resolved.”  ~ C.S. Lewis 

Recently, I reconnected with a hurt in my past.  Talking felt good.  Getting our frustrations and hurts out in the open felt good.  The weight was off my shoulders, and theirs too.  We could start fresh.  Redefine our relationship.  Move forward in a stronger friendship.

But what about people that refuse to talk.  Refuse to forgive.  Assume the worst of you.  Hold a grudge.  All from a misunderstanding, where quite honestly I just feel like screaming at them, defending myself, saying "IT'S NOT TRUE!! This is all a misunderstanding.  How can you hurt us like this???  You were wrong in all of this too.  Please hear us out!!!!"  But that wouldn't quite bring restoration would it?? :)

The topic of forgiveness has been on my heart for several months.  Mainly because of a disagreement that involved five of us, two of which have refused to talk, which leaves three of us feeling very unresolved.  It has been painful...and between tears, heartache and pain, the three of us desperately want restoration with the other two.

Last Sunday in church the topic was forgiveness, and in tears, me and one of the others talked about how much we just want to restore the relationship, talk, and allow the misunderstanding to unfold so we could all move on.  But we can't.

I read this article online, and I thought it was good.  Here is an excerpt:

The Christian’s Attitude of Forgiveness 
Matthew 6:14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you (attitude: forgive because you love the Lord)

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (attitude: can love cover it?)

Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.(attitude: loving and forgiving just like God forgave you) 

Another friend who knows the situation told me to "shake the dust of my feet" and move on. That is from Matthew 10:14 that says:  "If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet."

I guess I have no choice but to move on...but that is hard.  The Bible talks about how if we don't forgive, then God will not forgive us.  And that if we have something against someone else, we immediately have to address it or God will not listen to our prayers.  But what if that person will not grant you forgiveness - will not even talk to you??

I would love nothing more than to talk about what happened, apologize for my part in the misunderstanding and receive their forgiveness.  I want to also know that I have truly forgiven them for their part in the misunderstanding, not just think that I have truly forgiven them.  I feel like at that point, it would be a lot easier for us to go our separate ways in peace.  I will move on with my life, but I will continue to pray for healing in their heart.  I will never stop praying for them to one day forgive, so that one day, we might restore our relationship and have peace.