Comments About Weight

I have a pet peeve that I don’t think I have ever shared before…with anyone...and I have had it a WHILE.

Has anyone else ever noticed that it is OK to make comments about other people being skinny, but not about being fat?  Well, at least to their faces, sad to say.

It used to only bother me a little, but now that I have kids, and we get comments like this quite a bit, it bothers me a lot more.

I have actually had comments when people find out about my thyroid along the lines of "oh, I wish I had that problem".  I have also heard “I hope you get fat someday” or “Give her another [doughnut, or fill in the blank]; she needs to put on some weight.”  Or how about “You make me sick.”

I am not kidding. 

Is it because they are insecure about their own weight?  Is it because they think being thin is a bad thing in this society when so many are overweight?  Is it because they feel guilty taking that second helping they know they shouldn't?  Is it because they are jealous and really work hard to lose weight and have a hard time with that (I am proud of these people for their hard work - but please don't take out your struggles on me)?  Is it because they think that I do nothing to stay healthy?  Do they think I ENJOY having an autoimmune disease?  Do they think I starve my kids?  Do they really think they are giving me a COMPLIMENT?

Because it is awkward, and I really have no idea what to say to them when they make comments like these.

I feeling like saying:  "Do you want me to make comments and tell you that you are overweight, or that your kids are?  No, of course not!  And guess what; I feel the same way about you making comments about the size of myself and my kids.  We didn't pick our body - and there is both good and bad with it."

Being healthy is so much more important than weight!!!

I keep stressing this to the kids as they make comments about needing to lose weight (!!!!) or comments about someone being “fat”.  It makes me sick to my stomach.

I am sorry if this is coming across offensive, or if you are one of the people I am talking about that has made comments.  I am not trying to hurt your feelings…I am just trying to be honest here.

With all the problems of eating disorders and society pushing that you have to have this perfect body, I don't want my kids hearing any part of this.

I heard all the “skinny” comments when I was younger, and it caused problems in college when I gained a little weight.  I had "disordered eating" to try to lose that weight (only 10 pounds!) – but I didn't stop after the 10 pounds...and I kept telling myself it was OK because it wasn't bulimia or anorexia, and because I was still eating at least three meals a day.  Seriously, I researched it to prove to myself I was OK.  I was sick.

Do you know why I did it?  I felt like I had to stay skinny in order to live up to those comments, and I was terrified of being fat - because I already had self-confidence and appearance insecurities...I didn't need another reason to hate how I looked.

I know that sounds silly…because it was (and it is) silly.  Stupid, actually.  But it was a real problem that I had to battle.  It was very, very hard to break those patterns and find a healthy balance, which thankfully I have been able to do for many years now.  I couldn't even tell you the last time I weighed myself.  It has completely become a non-issue, which I am VERY thankful for!!!!

I still get comments, but my response is something along the lines of the fact that I exercise and try to eat healthy (even more so now that we are doing this 100 Days of Real Food challenge!), I drink lots of water, I try not to eat after dinner, etc.  Basically, I let them know that I make healthy choices* (and so can anyone else!).

And that is the message I want my kids to hear.  That we all struggle with problems and issues in our lives - and God still loves each and every one of us - no matter our size, gender, race, and no matter the mountains we face in our lives - and that we need to be careful what we say to those we come in contact with!  I want them to hear that they are beautiful just as God made them, that they need to take care of their bodies and make healthy choices, and that we all come in different shapes and sizes – and there is nothing wrong with that.

***I just want to state that I am in NO WAY trying to say that just because you make healthy choices you are going to be skinny, or vice versa...because it just isn't true!!  If you have health issues, you definitely need to see your doctor...especially women.  Our thyroids control more than you think!!  Also, there are several medications that make you gain weight, no matter how healthy you eat.  I just want to make it clear - because we need to be soooooo careful we aren't being judgmental of others around us!!!