Contentment Lesson #6

"Never Enough" is the title of chapter 6 in Linda Dillow's book "Calm My Anxious Heart" which is the book I have been reading and posting weekly. It's about contentment, and we are halfway through the book after this post! Bear with me, though...because this is a long chapter, and there is a lot of good things to take from it, so this is a long post!!! The more I have thought about this chapter and mulled it over, I just feel like the whole thing is heavy on my heart and mind.

Linda said that so far she has been focusing on areas that we need to learn contentment, and now for three chapters she is going to focus on what keeps us from being content, or barriers to contentment. This chapter, as you could probably guess by the title, is about greed. The disease to constantly want more, and then when you get it, it is still not enough. Instead we need to find contentment in what God has given us rather than focusing on what we want and/or try to get.

Immanuel Kant said, "Give a man everything he wants and at that moment everything will not be everything." It is kind of a vicious cycle when you are looking toward material things to find contentment - the more you search the more discontent you become. Linda compares greed to a leech - a blood-sucking worm.

Linda had done some research and found out that most Americans have more to "throw away" financially than most other individuals around the world have as their total worth. So much is the marketing and advertising - the whole purpose is to get you to think you need their product! You start to think you need it, then you want it, and then think that you deserve it. The whole thing is overwhelming because we are inundated with the media practically forcing discontent down our throats!

The next section is about how Americans seem to have debt problems because not only do we continually have this greed for more, we aren't willing to wait for it. Credit card debt is a ridiculous problem, that thankfully we have never had, but we do have our share of debt...we have definitely fallen prey to the American debt slippery slope. I know that I mentioned Dave Ramsey in an earlier post when I talked about paying off our van, and Linda quoted him...and I thought it was a REALLY good analogy:

"I call it the Kellogg's kid down inside of you that likes the frosting. When it comes to finances, he or she rules: If I want something I am going to get it, and I'm going to get it now! I tell folks, if they're ever going to get control, they have to manage that kid. The adult has to make the decisions. It's called growing up."

Wow. It is so true! And it is so easy to give in to that impulsive "Kellogg's Kid". I am not one to spend money, and it is still hard! When we are in debt we become a slave to money - and I have definitely felt that bondage. I hate it. I feel suffocated. Getting the van paid off it just one tiny chain broken from our life. I want more, but it is not really for things - it is more of my debt paid off!!! I hate being a slave to money!!!

It is like greed is the American god of our culture...and we will NEVER be satisfied by material things. And Linda takes it another step further - she said that she bought way more than she needed just because it was on sale - she said that even when she wasn't going in debt she was still overspending. She said when it becomes an obsession, you probably know that you have gone too far. For some, it is spending money on items that are all designer/expensive type things. We have to continually keep God's perspective in our lives to keep the greed from eating at our hearts - to be thankful for what He has given instead of what He hasn't.

When we focus on getting more and more, we become so independent we lose our trust in God's provision.

Linda then goes into a section that covers what God' perspective through the Bible is when it comes to financial issues. She mentioned that the topic of money or finances is in the Bible more than the message of Salvation! And, almost half of Jesus' parables were on this topic. Here are four principles that Linda pulled out of scripture:

1. Everything belongs to God (and everything comes from God). Linda challenges us to not think about how much we should give, but how much we should keep. Kind of backwards - but I think that was her point.
   
2. Heart attitude is the issue. Linda quoted Matthew 6:19-21 where it talks about storing up treasure in heaven instead of here on Earth - and I am sure Jesus didn't mean material things that we need to store in heaven! :) :) Linda also states that when we answer the questions: Where is my treasure? and Where is my heart? that these are more than just simple questions - they really get to who you are and what you live for. If you lost everything today, would you still be content??? If not, then your heart is probably more on material things than you think. And that's pretty convicting, but I agree with her.
   
3. God comes first and possessions come second. Matthew 6:24 tells us not to make a god out of money - we can't serve God and money at the same time - it would be like serving two different bosses. God will never leave us - He promises us that. Can you say the same about your possessions?? Not at all. He wants us to be content with what we have so that money doesn't push greed and materialism into first place. Which boss do I work for? Where is my focus?
4. Possessions are to be used not loved. Linda quoted A. W. Tozer who said: "Within the human heart things have taken over. God's gifts now take the place of God, and the whole course of nature is upset by the monstrous substitution." Wow. That's scary - but don't you think it is kind of true? We get something and slowly tighten our grip on it. Slowly move our focus from God to the gift He has given. I like how she then quoted Provers 30:8-9 here, which was written by a man name Agur: "Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God." That is such an awesome, but difficult perspective!!

Linda has such a great point here at the end of this section: "God hates greed. It's ugly. It breeds other sins. It consumes and controls us. We can't get rid of greed with a halfhearted wish or a token prayer. We must wholeheartedly come before the Lord and beg Him to remove this wretched leech with her long-reaching tentacles."

But Linda asks the question that might be all on our minds - How much is too much? Does God have a standard that we all need to follow? She said that it is not so much a monetary value that we need to live by, but to continually seek God and ask the question of Him and listen to any conviction He may place on your heart. She even challenges that if we have extra income, we should be asking if, instead of it going to pay off something like our house, it should really go to missions or your church. That is kind of hard for me, because I would always go for paying something off. No hesitation. No asking God what He thinks. Maybe I am so debt-focused that I am missing out on other blessings He has. Other things He wants me to do with my money. It is remembering that everything we have is God's...so making sure we are asking what He wants us to do with it.

The next section is about what we can do in our own home to help battle the greed so permeated into our culture. Here are some things Linda suggested:

1. Search your heart. We need to ask God to search us, and reveal anything in us that needs to change. To be honest with ourselves and be willing to rid our lives of what may drag us down. To be willing to get out of situations or people who live that way. Which leads us to #2...
   
2. Cut the ropes. Find out what it is that ties you up to that greed and pulls you in. Is it too many clothes in your closet? Is it your DVD's? Simply the ads that come into your house and cause you to wish for more? Staying away from certain friends? Do you simply need to just say "no" to something that you want? Take the necessary step!! Give things away that are pulling you in. Throw out those ads! Stay away from people that are greedy.
3. Submit to plastic surgery. Linda admitted that at one time her and her husband got into credit card debt - and they had to be willing to cut up those cards. Commit to whatever it is that had to painfully change. And make changes in your life to make sure those ropes that you have cut stay that way!
   
4. Beware of seasonal greed. Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc can cause the focus of gifts to be completely lost, and the greed monster to seasonally return to your house. Linda suggests finding creative ways to give of ourselves instead of gifts - one man sponsored a child oversees in his parent's name. Volunteer or help the homeless in someone's name. Make a coupon book with three things you are going to do for the person you are giving it to in the next year. Clean someone's house. Just get creative!
5. Have an attitude of Gratitude. As Linda says, we tell our children not to complain, but don't we do the same thing - just not complaining about the same things?? We need to teach our children to be grateful through our actions, not just our mouths. As Titus keeps begging everywhere we go, as he sees things and wants it, it is frustrating to me...but I have to ask myself if sometimes what I have said or done have played into that. I don't know the answer to that question. I tell him over and over that he needs to be grateful for the things he has, not what he doesn't have. That he can't have everything he wants. But he just has this insatiable greed for more - nothing is good enough. And it bothers me. We rarely buy things other than birthday or Christmas - so where is this coming from?!? Maybe I need to be more vocal about the internal process in my head when I say no over and over to things I want but turn the other way. I try by my actions to be an example, but maybe I need to explain my actions (or lack of action). And maybe my actions aren't as good as I think they are. I just really need to think about this whole thing a little more. Anyway, back to the book - Linda challenges us to take one week and determine yourself to not complain about anything - no griping, grumbling, complaining, or even asking for anything. Tell others in your family, your friends, and God what you are thankful while you are doing this little experiment. Keep a journal or just write down what happens during that week.
6. Share your wealth. We all have different amounts of wealth...and as Linda points out, wealth is a responsibility not a sin. She challenges us that our 10% tithe to the church is just a starting point - and that we need to ask God where else we can give more. And as a pastoral family, don't even get me started on people giving 10% to the church - it is so frustrating that most people don't!!

Linda wraps up this chapter by talking about being on alert. She has a GREAT quote: "Happiness is getting what we want. Contentment is wanting what we get." Our best way to stay alert is to continually seek God and make sure that we are storing up heavenly treasure instead of earthly treasure.

There is just so much I am still thinking about and processing in this chapter - so much to re-evaluate and figure out in my life. This was definitely the most thought provoking chapter for me, probably just because of everything we are going through financially right now and trying to decide on.

Linda ends with a prayer:

Holy Father, forgive me. I am ruled by impulses, appetites, and desires. My treasure is earthly. Change me, motivate me, and empower me by Your Spirit who indwells my weak body. I long to be content with what I have. I desire to use all You have given me for Your glory.