Contentment Lesson #7

"Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow
Chapter 7: A Faulty Focus

Linda opens by talking about how so many people are "near sighted" and do not know what they want to do with their life or why they are here. OK...she is definitely talking about me - I have NEVER felt like I had a true purpose or vision for my life. She quoted Dr. Swenson who wrote the book "Margin" and talked about how this is a very common problem in America today:

"Americans are notoriously shortsighted. We live in a state of myopic [nearsighted] mania that blurs the future. The horizon is never visible in the middle of a dust storm. But we must have a vision that extends beyond tomorrow. Living only from week to week is like a dot-to-dot life."

Linda makes the point that so many are waiting for something - a job, a child, a spouse, a house - and it gives us a "faulty focus" - which makes contentment almost impossible. She also quoted a poem a 14 year old (!!) boy wrote:

"It was spring but it was summer I wanted; the warm days and the great outdoors.
It was summer but it was fall I wanted; the colorful leaves and the cool dry air.
It was fall but it was winter I wanted; the beautiful snow and the joy of the holiday season.
It was now winter, but it was spring I wanted; the warmth and the blossoming of nature.

I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted; the freedom and the respect.
I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted; to be mature and sophisticated.
I was middle-aged but it was twenty I wanted; the youthful and the free spirit.
I was retired but it was middle-age that I wanted; the presence of mind without limitations.

My life was over but I never got what I wanted."

Isn't that such a good poem? And what a great perspective for someone who is only 14 years old!!

Linda's next section is called "Set Your Course" and she uses the illustration of a plane that has damaged navigational equipment but a great tail wind - so they have no idea where they are going, but they are headed there quickly! She compares this to our lives when we don't really have a direction or purpose, and we are just pushed through life driven by "the winds of circumstances," as Linda puts it. She makes a great point - if someone asked us where we are headed, our answer would be where we are going in the immediate moment - to work, to practice, to school, etc. We are so nearsighted we lose focus of the big picture. She challenges us to stop and think about what we are doing, and first and foremost, pray about it. Too often we live life by "default" (normally because of other people or situations) rather than knowing our purpose, using our time wisely, and grasping firmly to the will of God. (see Ephesians 5:15-17)

What is the meaning and purpose of my life? How can I find out?

Linda suggested starting by literally writing out a purpose statement. Define what you believe and where you want to be. She gave a couple examples of other people in history:

Jonathan Edwards (preacher in the 1700's):
"Resolved, to live with all my might while I do live.
Resolved, never to lose one moment of time, to improve it in the most profitable way I can.
Resolved, never do anything I should despise or think meanly of in another.
Resolved, never to do anything out of revenge.
Resolved, never to do anything that I should be afraid to do if it were the last hour of my life."

Betty Scott Stam (missionary to China, martyred in 1949):
"Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever."

And Betty's statement in the form of a prayer came before she was a missionary, before she was martyred.

Then Linda shared a little bit about 4 friends in her life, and I wanted to share a little bit of what stuck out to me on each person:

Phyllis - She had a hard time finding purpose - was it her husband? When she had children she wondered if they were now her purpose. But she realized that they were a "platform", not her purpose. Her purpose came down to 4 words: Purposely (being intentional with relationships and spiritually), Faithfully (trusting God even in what she doesn't see), Creatively (warmth and beauty in her home and those around her), and Paradoxically (go against being selfish, our culture and giving 110% even when she doesn't feel like it)

Jean - her purpose was to mentor/teach others Truth - to pass on her knowledge. She felt that living day to day drained us and kept us from staying focused with a purpose - because living with a purpose takes effort, determination, and a conscious decision. Several times a year she takes a significant amount of time to analyze and evaluate her life and make changes if necessary.

Ney - her goal/purpose to to become conformed or more like Christ. She has four areas that she works on to keep her focused: All that I am, All that I have, All that I do, and All that I suffer.

Mimi - She has the mindset that eternity doesn't begin when she dies - it had already started. She looked at her life as a time line and asked herself what she wanted to be at age 80 (contentment, wisdom, godliness) and asked herself how she would go about accomplishing this. She had to move from deciding to do it, and put these into action. She is pursuing these things. She says "You can mimic goodness but godliness cannot be imitated."

All these women (and countless other people throughout history) had to be intentional and ask God to reveal His life purpose. We have to go from understanding, to decision, to action. Linda challenges us to each sit down, and start writing out our own type of purpose statement - maybe verses from the Bible, or a prayer, or use someone else's ideas to get you started. But bottom line, you will never find purpose unless it is pointing to God.

This is a difficult chapter for me as well. To be honest, I struggle with knowing what I am here for - what God wants from me in my life. I really always have - and I have asked and feel as if God hasn't answered me. But I can't keep that as an excuse from asking Him again - of course also doing my part. The whole idea of a purpose is very hard for me, and it is easy to get discontent - it has frustrated me for years. I live day to day. I live through what Stephen has been called to do. I take care of what is right in front of me - and it is frustrating.

So why not start now??? Maybe I should start simple - to find a verse that really hits me as a small step to live by and start on a journey toward a purpose. What first came to mind is Psalm 139:23-24 which says:

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

I also like Romans 15:13 that I quoted in my post yesterday, only personalized:

May the God of hope fill me with all joy and peace as I trust in him, so that I may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

And I don't think it is a bad thing if I change what my purpose is as I change and mature as a Christian and as a person.

Do any of you have a purpose statement/verse/prayer? Please share if you do!!!