Thoughts

We have been so busy that I have only been posting pictures...but there have been several times where I really wanted to post my thoughts.  Since I was already posting every day for a while there, and I really wanted to have pictures on my blog, I never got around to actually posting deeper things.

Well, I read an article on Wednesday about premarital sex, and whether or not it is wrong/sinful, and whether or not Christians for centuries have been "making up" their stand on not having sex before marriage.  Hearing about teens and other people in my life that have dealt with issues of premarital sex, I really was struck by all of this.

The full article is here if you want to read it.

This is my favorite quote by Dr. Lawson Stone (Yale University - author, speaker, and professor of Old Testament and Biblical Studies):
Sex is about SO much more than "sexy." Sex is about helping your wife recover for months from a very difficult delivery of a baby you sort of had something to do with; sex is about loving the wrinkles and grey hair or thinning hair. Sex is about sitting by the bed wishing you could be the one suffering instead of them. Sex is about still feeling off balance when you have to go without your wedding band for some reason. It's about staying together through times when you don't feel in love, don't feel dedicated, don't feel "committed" but remember that before God and his church you made a promise, a covenant, and you'll honor it--and discovering that those who keep faith with that formal, so-called legalistic boundary enter a garden of joy known only to those who surrender. "Sexy" in our culture is a sad, pale cartoon made up of too much cleavage, too little self-respect, too much butt-crack and too many tramp-stamps, and over-tight clothes. "Sexy" testifies to our emptiness, a hunger, but not real desire. Lots of energy, but is it really passion? Lots of smoke, but not a fire to light your life, warm your soul and nourish your heart. The eyes of the goddess are painted, but the eye-holes are empty. The courtesan looks alluring, but the heart is stone-cold. As long as we keep chasing "sexy" we'll never find the real thing. Instead, we get Madonna and Lady Gaga. And we deserve them.

I have long felt that our American culture has so cheapened, so tarnished sex.  Sex is casual, sex is all about you and feeling good.  These messages and more are in your face almost every day, but our culture is sending the wrong messages.  Saving yourself for marriage and not having sex until after you have said "I do" is a lost value/morality.  If you love someone, you have sex.  And if it doesn't work out, you are left to pick up the pieces, wondering why it looked so much better on TV, and feeling lost...how did you misunderstand the message our culture was sending?!?

While our culture has so cheapened sex, the church has taken a radical stance.  Many times the church sends the message simply of "don't have sex", and you get the feeling that sex is dirty, sex is wrong, and it is better to just not have it.  I don't agree with all these messages either, although I think that the church meant well.  Sex was created by God, and meant to be enjoyed.  It is intimate, it is powerful, it is such an amazing demonstration of complete vulnerability, and it is hard to put into words.  I think we need to claim back and shout from the rooftops these messages - and then tell the rest of the story. 

Sex before marriage is not what God intended.
Sex is irreversible.
Sex before marriage can leave you broken, hurt, and constantly looking for a way to fill that emptiness.

But God is a God of FREEDOM, FORGIVENESS, and RESTORATION.  He is a God of SECOND CHANCES, GRACE, and LOVE.  We all stumble, but we have to have the strength to get up and keep moving.  Just because you have fallen before and had sex outside of marriage doesn't mean you have to fall again over the same "rock"!  Pick that "rock" up, throw it as far away from you as you can, and ask God to give you the strength to keep moving forward!  You can have a clean slate!

I just want to send people - especially teens - the message that yes, sex is exciting, but it is so much more than that.  It is exactly what the quote I put in here says (read it again, it is good!), and so. much. more.  Sex before marriage is great.  But sex after marriage...that's like a home run...an out of this world home run.

Yes, it is SO hard to wait (maybe that is an understatement!).  Yes, it goes against the "norm".  Yes, you will probably be ridiculed and questioned and looked at funny.  Yes, it takes a TON of denying self and what you want to do with that person you love.  But it is worth it.  Your future spouse is worth it. 

YOU are worth it.